Tuesday, August 13


If You Leave by Courtney Cole
My rating: ★ 5 Intense Stars ★

If You Leave (Beautifully Broken, #2)


Lonely and living a life that she would never had envisioned, Maddy's life becomes less and less hers and more her parents.
Maddy let her dreams go and stepped in to her parents life when they passed away.
No longer happy, Maddy can't seem to find the strength to let go and follow her own dreams.

~ No one needs to know that I really don't know shit- that I drift along in life without any real answers. No one needs to now that there are times when I seriously hate how things turned out, and that I am powerless to change it ~

One night she decides to let go and finds herself going home with one sexy Ex-Army ranger for one night of passion.

~ This guy… he definitely seems rugged. Everything about him screams strength and power. ~

Gabe is a war hero. With his time in Afghanistan, seeing and doing the things he had to do has him thinking otherwise. Guilt controls his life, yet he refuses to deal with it.
He tortures himself reliving the ugliness he saw every night with Night Terrors. Gabe understands he suffers from PTSD, yet the blame he puts on himself, leaves him no choice to accept the demons that chase him.

~ I'm not crazy… exactly. The army doctors say I just need time. They call it PTSD. Posttraumatic stress disorder. I call it something else entirely: fucked up. ~

Being approached my Maddy is exactly what he needs to help forget.
Their one night of passion unexpectedly comes to an abrupt end when Gabe's demons come to a head.
Maddy gets to witness the ugliness that Gabe hides.


With her one night stand bust, Maddy brushes herself off and goes about her life.
Little does she know that their lives will be crossing again.

Gabe is the Brother of her co-worker and friend Jacey.
When he acts as though nothing happened between him and Maddy, she decides she doesn't need the drama of his craziness. Even though she is intrigued by what he is hiding.
But is seems Gabe has an invisible ribbon connected to her, pulling her to him at every turn. She makes a judgement about him that she soon finds out that is so very wrong.
He is able to break through Maddy's issue, helping her overcome them.

~ "Fear is a choice, Maddy. But so is being happy."~


Maddy want's to help Gabe overcome his demons. How can this man not see the way others see him?

~ “You think that you’re a bad thing, but you’re not. You protect the rest of us from bad things. You’re badass and lethal and scary, and you’re as far from weak as you can get. You’re a protector, Gabe. My protector.” ~


But he himself needs to recognise this and want to reach out for help. No one can push him to that.
Soon they find themselves in deeper. Gabe still holds back but can't seem to let go of Maddy. When one night turns deadly, Gabe makes the one decision that will ultimately break Maddy.

~ "Gabe," I gasp desperately…

I can't speak anymore. Gabe's grip on my throat is too tight.

I can't move. He's fifty times stronger than I am.

And I can't breathe.
As I close my eyes and everything goes black, I realise that this is what it's like to die.~

He refuses to hurt her. He loves this woman, but can never be the man she deserves. He does the only thing acceptable and leaves her.
His story is really heartbreaking. When you think he has reached rock bottom he sinks lower. Leaving you begging him to stop. With some help from his mate and fellow Ranger, Brand, Gabe, comes to realise he has to face his demons or he'll never be able to find and share happiness with anyone.
Madison is the push he needs to conquer his own fears.

~ "It's like I'm not whole when I'm not with you..You're a piece of me. A big piece of me. And when you're gone, I can't function right. I'm only half a person”~

But is it to late? Can he prove to her that he won't leave again? Soon his greatest fear isn't the demons that have been chasing him. It's the thought of not having Maddy in his life.


If you leave was intense and difficult to read at times. Cole told a powerful story. I was completely an emotionally invested in Maddy and Gabe's journey.
Their recovery was real, and it hurt to read their truths. But under all the heartbreak, was also an intense love story.
Gabe is broken and vulnerable yet still was the strong Alpha I love. Their chemistry was smoking hot. The sex did not disappoint.
The 1st chapter alone had me hooked. I'm gonna put it out there as one of the most intense 1st chapters I have ever read!
I loved catching up with Mila and Pax. The shower scene with Mila was freaking intense! Cole's writing style is perfection and will read anything this woman writes! Definitely add this to your TBR list now!

Favorite Quotes

~ Love is deathless. ~

~ To anyone who knows what it's like to be broken and to everyone who is stronger because of it. ~

~ Still hurts like a bitch, but you know what they say. Pain is just weakness leaving the body. ~

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Jess xx

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