Before Now

 by Cheryl McIntyre


My rating: ★ 4.5 Stars ★

~ Have you ever looked back and tried to figure out where your life took a wrong turn? The exact moment- the precise action- that turned your whole life to shit?~

Life lessons to live by..


1. You can never fucking go back. What's done is done. Whatever damage you've caused is permanent. Life doesn't have an undo button - no matter how much you wish it did.

2. Don't waste your time wishing. It doesn't work an you just wind up looking like a fucking loser. Don't believe me? Let''s try a little experiment. With in one hand and shit in the other. now tell me which hand filled up faster.

3. Life is shitty. Fucking deal with it. You want something? Take it. Take it and fuck everything and everybody else.

4. Do not - under and circumstances fall in love.

5. Don't mess with your friends family. especially the crazy ones.

6. You don't always get what you want. In fact, it's pretty fucking rare.

Real life people-- it isn't pretty. That's life lesson…? Fuck, I can't remember. Just add it to the list.

8. Fuck. and Fuck a lot. Don't make love. Don't even have sex. No feelings. Just feed you basic animalistic needs. Never the same girl twice-- unless it falls within the same night or following morning-- and never get attached. Dont take
their number. Why? Because after you fuck them--- Forget about them.

9. Always bag it. seriously, Always. And if the girls shady-- double bag it.

10. Do not have children. They're short, evil demons with homicidal tendencies.

11. Don't talk shit to group of guys when you're by yourself. Especially if you got a blow job from one of their girlfriends.

12. As your life changes, change your rules accordingly. Nothing is set in stone when it comes to living.

13. Focus on what is-- not what could have been.

Park lives his life following his ever-growing list of “life lessons.”
His heart was broken by the only girl he ever loved, Hope.
He has no intention of ever allowing that to happen again.







I love Park.
My Broken, Self-destructive, Man Whore, Bad boy.
Absoloutely love him.


~I don't know what it is about him that draws me in. He's an ass. He's arrogant. He's a slut. He's also breathtakingly gorgeous and the way he looks at me makes my body react without permission or apology. ~

Amen Sister.


Park is hurting, going through the motions of life, numbing his pain with booze and women.
Moving into his new place, he meets his new neighbour Lucy.
Park is instantly attracted.

~Her beauty hit me like a punch in the face and pulls me inside. ~


Lucy is everything Park is not.
Caring, kind, sees the best in people. She is also off limits.


~You're all puppy paws and kitten whiskers. ~


However Lucy and Park can't seem to stay away from each other. They both know their attraction can only lead to pain but the pull is stronger then them.


The definition of lust is: an intense sexual desire or illicit appetite. I know. I looked it up.





It's a slow build with so much sexual tension. She pushes he pulls away, She pulls away, he pushes.


~"It's like we take a step forward and then you shove me five steps back. Why do you do that? Why do you push me away?"~


Park lives by his Life lessons, and Lucy has her Rules to live by everyday.
But no one can deny the intense hold they have over each other.
Rules become broken and lesson's re-learnt.

When they allow their chemistry to take over, things become very heated.

~"Oh, you're vanilla, Lucy. Trust me. But that just makes me want to drizzle hot fudge all over your body, and take my damn good time licking it off." ~

But of course Park fucks it up.
Boy does he screw the pooch on this one.
When his screw up makes him realise that pushing Lucy away was a mistake, he will do anything he can do fix it.
But Lucy struggles with letting go. Can she trust him with her heart again and give him to the power to break her.


~I can't give up on you. I don't know how and that gives you all the power over me. The power to hurt me again and again. ~


Regret; A sense of loss or disappointment: a feeling of sorrow or remorse over an act or decision. ~




He constantly hurts her and pushes her but she can't walk away from him, "The heart wants what the heart wants"
He would act like a douche then show the moments of kindness and sweetness and I would just swoon all over the shop.

~He places one last kiss there and sits back. "This is mine." His eyes meet mine to verify I understand before his teeth nip at my breast. "This is mine." He moves to other breast and flicks his tongue over the nipple, "This is mine." Next he skims his lips over my mouth. "Mine." A kiss to my forehead."Mine." ~

You feel for him and then wanna slap him. When he royally stuffs up, I was shocked. I wasn't really expecting that to happen. I was screaming at Park, DON'T YOU DARE BOY DON'T YOU FREAKIN DARE.
But do you think he listened to me? hahahaa NO

If you follow my reviews, you will know, I Do NOT like mean jerks.
Hate them. But will love them if they redeem themselves.
You can be a jerk as long as you own that shit. And Park really did. I would hate him one chapter then love him all over again in the next.
And when Park owned it, he really did own it.
And then all I felt was love. Love for him, love for them.


Love: a feeling a deep affection, or romantic attachment.




~I go still as I gaze down at her. Something's just ripped open inside of me with those words. Or maybe it's been mended. I honestly don't know what the hell just happened, but Jesus, I want to feel this every second for the rest of my life. ~



I loved Jesse, Bree and Chase.
I loved Guy.
Hahaha funniest line ever!

~"Don't fuck up this time." I raise a skeptical brow. "Not sure I know how to do that."
"Just…. don't trip, fall, and land dick first in to some random girl on the way over there."~


There are few twist's and turns that I didn't even see coming.

I wasn't sure what to expect with Before Now.
Sometimes Never was one of my favourites last year. I freaking love Cheryl McIntyre's writing.
She brought her characters to life on such a raw level, You feel them, you experience their pain right along with them!

Before now didn't have that deep heartbreaking story that I got with Hope and Mason, but still hit the spot for me.
She really does have a way with words, and capturing the emotion of the scene.


~"You and me, Lucy, we're like a fire: Hot and unpredictable, scary and mesmerising all at once. We started with a spark and before I knew it, I was consumed. I love the way you burn me up from the inside out."

We merge like two flames, fast and out of control. Because sometime that's just how love works. we may smoulder, we may blaze, we may rage without reason. But it's always beautiful. ~






But it.
Read it.
Love it.

Sometimes Never

Sometimes Never by Cheryl McIntyre
My rating: ★ 5 Stars ★

~ I'm standing in the middle of my bathroom, naked clutching a razor blade between my thumb and finger. I need to release the poison. The fear. The anger. I want the pain that festers inside of me - Out. I want it on the outside. On my flesh. Where I say how I hurt. Where I say when. Where I say for how long. Where I say stop. Where I can stop it. 

I'm so ugly.

I am so fucking ugly.

My insides are disgusting.

There is nothing good inside of me. I'm not a nice person. I'm not smart. I'm not funny. I am selfish. Mean. There is nothing special about me. I can't stand the sight of myself. I hate myself. I hate everything that makes me, Me.~

WOW what Intense, Powerful, Heart wrenching words!

I can't even begin to tell you about the incredible story of Hope and Mason.

Hope was amazing, She was real, she was broken and I just wanted to climb through my kindle and hug the shit out of her!
Hope self harms, to deal with her painful past. It's an addiction.


It's like an itch that no matter how many times I scratch and dig at it, it just won't stop tingling until
I'm raw and bloody. It may settle down for a while, but it never actually stops prickling and crawling below the surface. Just waiting to flareup and grab hold of my sanity again.



Mason, who is dealing with his own demons is amazing! Just perfect for Hope, sees past her insecurities and gets through to her.



Mason Patel is my counterpart. He is the eraser to my chalk. The milk to my cereal. The chocolate to my peanut butter. We were made for each other in cookie heaven.


Both so terrified of what they feel for each other and what that means they slowly start to let each other in.


"Mason, you terrify me."
His voice lowers in a deep murmur. "Im also starting to think that's possibly a good thing because you scare the shit out me too."
"So what do we do?" I whisper.
"Maybe we should start facing our fears."


I loved all of the secondary characters, they all were there for Hope and Mason and I fell in love with them just as much!

This was intense, Cheryl McIntyre brings these characters to life on such a raw level, You feel them, you experience their pain right along with them!

The writing.. Oh was just beautiful Im utterly in love, the words just flowed off the page, I couldn't get enough! The words spoke to me, called to me, captured me.


"Pink lips, and rosy cheeks; eyes so light and hair that shines.
They tell me that you're beautiful."
"Five foot nine, size two dress, bones protruding from your chest.
They tell me that you're beautiful."
"Inflated breasts, extended hair, pigment perfected. They tell me that you're beautiful."
"Shape me, mold me, manufacture me, and tell me that I'm Beautiful.
Wax me, dye me, chop and dice me, and tell me that I'm beautiful. Choose me, use me, take me break me, and tell me that I'm beautiful. Bleach it cover it, go ahead and remove it."
"Erase all that is beautiful."
"Break me. Break me. Break me to fit you."

"I don't want to be beautiful."



Amazing you must read this!!!!





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